i'm dreading.....

I don’t know when I will go log on my school cubby and check this grade. I have a feeling that I don’t get the grade that I was expecting, and it will lower my GPA. When my friend said the grade is in our cubby, I was scared to go check, because I know if it’s not the grade that I expected, it will ruin my day. Not just a day though.. I would become really depressed and all go down hill for me.  I would realize, then, my GPA would be that low, how would I apply to my top choice of the college with that GPA. I would feel like giving up even though I know that I shouldn’t and i won’t.

Knowing that, although I have a chance and room in my class schedule to retake the same 3 unit class and get an A with the same teacher next semester, it would be adding one more class to 6 classes/16 units. That would be so much..? I feel like if I really have to, I will do it, and then get all the As I need.

I really don’t know what grade I have in this class. I just know that, right now i can’t  accept myself seeing the lower grade than I was expecting to get. He never responded to my last email, which I wrote about my grade is 2% away from the next grade I really need.. I didn’t only write that, yes I need that 2% of the grade I couldn’t earn, but I also wrote paragraphs of other things to express all my desires for the better. A whole bunch of good reasons for him to agree with me and consider the 2%.  Wishing that he will kindly help me to raise my GPA.  I hate that, it’s all because of the tardiness that didn’t award me extra points. It’s all those small things that can make a big difference. In this case, it’s all the small imperfections.

It makes me so upset about this class. I don’t understand, that it has to be so strict about the tardiness, even though I attended all the lectures and never missed anything. It shouldn’t matter THAT MUCH …  Right now, I just don’t have the courage to see what grade I have. He never emailed me back, so I really have no clue what he put in my grades report. He might enter the grade that I need, he might enter the grade that i don’t want to see…..The grade is just right there, I don’t know how I’m waiting longer will help this situation.. I just don’t really want to face it right now until I really have to . Eventually I’ll have to see the grade… 

The last names in Taiwan

Never really thought about the taiwanese last names.. but the taiwanese people i know, do have these specific last names! so when i see these last names, I usually would think they’re taiwanese too. haha.

Yang, Lin, Tsai, Chen, Fan, Tseng, Wang, Lai, Weng, Cai, Chu, Chiu,
Chang, Zhou, Sun, Liu, Huang, Luo, Chien, Chou, Sun, Hu, Hsieh… are all Taiwanese last names.

I wish my last name was “Lin.” hahahaha.

My last name, Lan, is already a rare name in Taiwan but it is a taiwanese last name though. Er,  i hate that my last name isn’t a common Taiwanese name that can obviously get recognized 

wisdom teeth pulled

Since they put me to sleep and numbed my mouth before I was getting two of my wisdom teeth removed this morning, I haven’t been allowed to eat anything. And I have been having a difficult time drinking too. Their procedure in novato was so stupid that it’s causing me a lot of pain after the numbing is gone. Last time I pulled my upper wisdom teeth in petaluma, they didn’t put me into sleep and I was so fine after a couple hours and still went out and do specific intense things! This time after my extraction.. I went to work, and my mouth and my jar are seriously so BANGED! it was so terrible not being able to eat anything.. 7 hours later…i thought i will be able to finally eat my food without any pain while the numbing is slowly going away, but I start to feel the severe ,terrible pain in my mouth and my jar or my teeth when I try to bite down food. -___- i also feel a sore throat when I swallow anything or drink water! Ouch : ( although Im ok to eat icecream.. I wish I could eat and enjoy, the noodles my mom bought today..it is so good . but apparently, i guess my mouth isnt fully recovered yet. its so hard to eat, and it’s making me annoyed. i guess i have to rest for the rest of my day.. i hope all the pain in my mouth and my cheeks will be gone by tomorrow.

hope you're never finding out what I wrote (HAHA)

haha, just want to say last night was a fun night…it all started from having kbbq, even though I have to wake up at 7 am for school this morning LOL. We all enjoyed ourselves for three hours of karaoke lol…It was a pretty long time in there but it was never boring the whole time. And that was the second time i’ve been there and i had the best time . : ) have so many stories i want to tell too !

but damn, I wish there was never that SLIGHTLY TINY awkwardness between me& u… kind of figured out you would be there. I wanted to see you there at the same time i didn’t want to ? Llol. it’s complicated . I wish it was nevver gonna be feeing like this, just couldn’t really have the courage to look at  your eyes or anything. uhhh..! I have never been feeling like this in a place like this for a very long time. but whatever … …. ..!!!! It will be better and better with each passing day

can't believe..

just finished talking with my friend in person earlier. shit has just gotten so reall now. lol.

They are officially in a lawsuit and everything what happened to her and what she has been telling me is NOT a prank or a joke . lol. . I doubted her words the first time when she was telling me what’s been happening via text messages,  I couldn’t even believe it from my own view….But now after actually seeing her and talking with her, I finally can understand the side of her story…and how much it means to her. .  I’m pretty shocked and now aware of what’s been happening.. and will be alert at work in the coming future even though this is something so out of the blue… . Like i could have never had any thoughts on that.

Yesterday I still went to ohana to buy food and it felt some awkward walking in as i was trying so hard to act normal like i don’t know what happened… I’m wondering what the situation is going to be like when I have work this friday. . Oh jesus… awkward and weird… . I think I can still act like i don’t know anything around him. But i might think a lot to myself during work though … i don’t think I will have those kind of conversation with my boss like before anymore.. I think as much he has been treating me as an employee and I have respected him as a boss…generally i don’t really have any problems with him. As long he can just keep his things to himself and never cross the line like he did to my friend…, as long as I can get my paychecks and work in the same, comfortable and safe environment, i won’t say i’m leaving just yet but I will be fine with it .. I just won’t really laugh with you that much i gueess. just saying though, i’m pretty grossed out at his behavior to my friend. . I personally do hate it. . all the costs are like a lot of troubles.. all the ish my friend now has to be going through is really tough . especially the part being emotionally damaged… .!  even though there isn’t anything i can do to change anything, he will be paying for everything what he’s done eventually. 

instagram new!

Just made myself an instagram! and go see my very first instgram picture. (muhahaha)
So i guess. . follow @justgowiththefo on instagram? #teamandroid . .

starting something different?

i feel like tumblr is not as private as it was back in the days when I first made it . . :S i can’t even write whatever personal stuff without any concerns. more and more friends from like.. facebook that i might talk to on a regular basis are on tumblr. 

just trying out blogspot from now on as I update posts on tumblr. :) Plus this is probably a lot more official as a blogger..