Torn up and going down. Just had a dream last night got in off of wait-list and today when I checked MyAdmission, it was a “cannot offer you admission” message. Please tell me about it. Knowing that I will be going to college farther, I will be missing NorCal so much more. I don’t want to leave my dog behind in the Bay Area. I don’t know, i’m not even excited anymore. It is so depressing and disappointed to find out that, after all the possibilities I have tried to go to that path, it didn’t work out at the end. I just want the one major that Davis has, and it does not offer at Irvine. That is the major difference for me that I will most likely be majoring media studies- journalism or economics when i am at Irvine. I wanted to major in communication so badly. Badly enough that I have way to many reasons for it. Wrote my letters to support my admission and even got approval and sincerest support from one of the best professors in this program at my school, I still didn’t get it. I just wish GPA is not even all that fucking matters. I also think about applying and trying again, but I will even hate it more if I will have to wait and waste a year being on the same page in life and not moving on. People tell me I should be glad that I get to go away from a JC in two years because most people stay up to three years. Yeah, that is because most people are unsure what they want to study yet. They’re not sure and they want to save as many money as possible and take advantaged of what a CC can offer them. I think that is so true. And the first two years of education at CC is just the same as at a UC. My originally plan has always been two years at a CC then transfer. I did save lots of money and learned a lot. Everyone tells me that I have already tried my best, and that’s what matters. But it doesn’t mean anything to me because I just did not get the major I will enjoy the most. Even though Journalsim and media studies major is similar to communication, yeah it relates to music, rap, languages and society, and can get me the same jobs tittles as having a degree in communication, I still like it more that how communication involves how human behaves, talks, and acts which is a little bit of psychology. I specifically hate school at this point. I hate the institution that does not even evaluate how much time and effort I had to devote in more than I originally had during that school time. I don’t even know what i should do. If no one will ever look at me in the eye disagreeing with my decision and say anything about what I could have or should have done, I would wait a whole year just to apply again.
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