Being a Dreamer

Being a Dreamer

i swear i have this ability to study (memorizing things) while being asleep… because i get myself to dream about the material………… o_OOOOO… After dreaming about studying Econ…., last night, I dreamed about studying for another subject AGAIN.

On that particular night before my Econ final, I studied so much that Econ was even in my slumber. I swear. For econ, we had to memorize what to say on the essays so I was writing and reading the material for hours that night before i went to bed. I knew I really need to get through it even though it was so much!! writing and stressing out about econ until i was too overwhelmed and passed out. Then I was dreaming about writing all the information over and over again and some notes I wrote as well. I really didn’t know I was going to dream about it. I was shock when I woke up that morning. But can we really learn during sleep? Does that count studying because it was in my dream? Can we really study unconsciously? I heard if we want to learn during sleep, we could record our voice reading the material and listen to it when going to sleep but dream about it? haha. 

There were so much information I had to throw everything in my head, and I was struggling, but hoping to do better! I had to get my brain memorize all of it and be able to apply. That made my brain force me to continue process in my slumber!? I read something says about when we’re struggling with a task, it might be the trigger that makes the sleeping brain to focus on the subject and work on getting better.. I never know what i was going to dream, especially about studying the exact material I was studying when i was awake. it’s clear that everything I was working on was all in my subconscious mind when I was awake. And what we dream about are the ones that usually involves some emotional level, and the things that can be really important at some point. 

I still understand that dreams don’t necessarily make sense or be obvious to the awake mind in order that have a learning benefit. But I mean..When I woke up and think about things I saw in a dream…Like I was really dreaming about Econ, I could see the words I wrote in the dream. I was already done studying and sleeping. i’m not sure if that really helped me actually learn but it did make me remember something…?

yeah if you are a student and you want to do well on a test, you might need to dream about it? but the question is how do you know you are gonna dream about it. the answer is probably to get really really exhausted and study very very crazily hard, cramming, you know you really shouldn’t cram but you have no choice that you really need to get through this before sleep. funny i was just weird out by dreams and now i’m writing about it. But I dream every single day !!

Hard

Hard

It’s more and more difficult every school year, and I wonder which year in the future will get easier. I feel so overwhelmed tonight…counting and thinking about all the points I have earned in my classes….  time to get a little emotional. My head kind of hurts even though I just woke up from a nap three hours ago.

It’s the end of the semester, one week left until the finals. Final exam, final exam, final exam, final exam, and final exams. So I got finals to take for all of my five classes. Throughout the whole semester as classes wind down and the exam approaches, worry always begins to take over me. Well I have seemed to get over with this feeling and of how exhausted to prepare for exams or to remain my studying for good grades.. This workload of college is significantly Increasingly more than the previous semester workload. Every year, it only gets harder and harder because I’ve chosen to take more challenges. It is harder because there are time managing and scheduling issues to coordinate, either to meet with the instructors or to find free time to study, sleep and eat!! and other obstacles couple with the new/higher goals I want to accomplish.

How I deal with stress has significantly improved every year as well. I don’t complain how stressed out I am as much as I did last year. I tend to get over it. If I still complain about it, it seems like I’m just not mature enough to handle school work? I feel like JC has really helped me to grow and be prepared academically. I have given up to go out with friends many times and to do fun things outside of school. Like, I don’t even try to make an effort to meet or talk to anyone socially either in campus or outside except studying with groups from my classes. I know this is only during this time of the year. I have to know what is the most important right. Of course for me, I would want that to be sacrificed. If you want the sleep break from school, then you shouldn’t even go out and think about beer pong. 

Maybe going through all these pressures right now will make me stronger each year in the future. Well, I think it is possible to beer pong if I have three or four classes throughout the semester. I know It is a never good idea to take many classes at once and expect to get all the As. But what only balances out a little bit is I have two easier classes out of five so I thought I can do it. Of course all of them require me putting in my times of being a full time student and efforts to get the grades I want. So there are many things I have to sacrifice, especially to even take days off from work. I’m glad the school kind of provides my financial needs so I can kind of depend on it at times when I don’t work.

Then I’ll see myself won’t have to take this many classes but rather more concentrated classes of three for my major, once I move on from the JC. Of course.

My college application was such a burden to me that I carried for three months throughout this semester. It was definitely out of breath working on how to be competitive while maintaining good grades at the same time. There are times I don’t even do well and struggle in my classes. It is not easy to balance… Plus I like to sleep. I’ve been getting many hours of sleep. Whenever I get home I just sleep, a couple times I don’t even wake up until the next morning…. I honestly don’t like the idea cramming at night, and I’ll never do it after I experienced it. This makes me study after every class but not procrastinate. I hate the feeling getting up early and being annoyed by the alarm and wanting to sleep in my bed so bad. And I love it when I wake up naturally that I’m waking up satisfied…. So when I’m sleepy, I rather just nap in my bed before I study or do something intense then sleep again.

recent update

Funny how it wasn’t even cold in Riverside, and we wrapped ourselves with layers of sweaters and coats -_-….. can’t wait to see the ladies again. 

ugh!! i have so many more pictures in my phone I want to post.. but my phone’s battery port is really broken.. It would not charge at all!!! :( So my cell phone is dead right now. 

I haven’t been able to use my phone for almost two weeks now..  I didn’t feel the need to use my cell phone last week because I was really concentrating on my UC Personal Statement everyday. I didn’t bother to try to fix my phone’s problem, but now after completing my college app and school stuff, I now feel the need using my cell phone. Especially when i want to listen to the songs and upload the pictures from my phone.  ://

I'm stuck!

I’m stuck.

I’m stuck in bed thinking about how time passes by like crazy while I’m living the life that gives me all the ups and downs… getting up from my slumber and before i realize i am ready for sleep again. It’s super crazy that i never felt like i have enough time finishing something that seriously matters to me. I have exactly 9 days left until i’m hitting the submit bottom for my application. At this point i gotta know that there is no such a thing as ‘it is not too late’. Yes no matter how old you are, it’s possible to fulfill your desire, but my particular desire is to be on time on track on target…

The thought of wanting to finish everything as soon as i could makes me anxious all the time, not because I’m falling behind… It’s because I feel that if i don’t do it now, i will be behind, and it’s too late. i am pushing myself but there’s time just not enough. What’s my drive, my passion anyways.. and the reason for life? I want to explore and experience more…. I’m not trying to be stuck for another year or years…?

I believe we all rely on something …. and that is hope..it’s not always expected as well. which I really fear… I maybe seem like stress-free like everything is all good but i really got this? I certainly hope so. I want to keep believing and go with the flow as i focus on school. All these hours and days be passing me by…i don’t want to disappoint anyone especially myself..again.

It’s coming closer and i realize there are certain friends don’t really tell you to study hard and stay focus on what’s the most important in life… i find that..especially the fun ones, some just don’t understand what a person might be going through in their life even it’s already been told. What is a serious matter is really what i am believing right now.. I’m still debating whether i should road-trip to socal during Thanksgiving break or not? This is kind of a serious question mark, since i have exams and due.assignments,on top of that with my UC application, that will not stop happening next week if i take a break…..Anyways. Goodnight .

the mood at late-night...

the mood at late nighttime

I found that I can write better at this time. And I tend to BS on my essay during  daytime. It is just not good. I find that things about the daytime, whether it is light, warmth, noise or the presence of others — they don’t exist at 2 am. Maybe going to sleep early and wake up at about 3 am to write is not a bad idea? Sometimes, I don’t even mind staying up writing and getting my mind and thoughts all down and organized. 

hey it’s the color lenses! :D i think they look kinda scary in person pahahah.. i was supposed to wear them for halloween but i couldn’t..-..-!! i wore some make up for the weekend tho .. :)

TRUE &selfnote

"Going above and beyond what most people do — and accomplishing these things through your own creativity and hard work, not through your parents’ buying opportunities for you, is what helps you stand out among others."

Kind of a self note and what i feel like after this day …

Do not let myself to be overcome by stress or fear.. don’t want to lose focus and not be able to retain what i am supposed to be doing