Monday, December 10, 2012

Hard

It’s more and more difficult every school year, and I wonder which year in the future will get easier. I feel so overwhelmed tonight…counting and thinking about all the points I have earned in my classes….  time to get a little emotional. My head kind of hurts even though I just woke up from a nap three hours ago.
It’s the end of the semester, one week left until the finals. Final exam, final exam, final exam, final exam, and final exams. So I got finals to take for all of my five classes. Throughout the whole semester as classes wind down and the exam approaches, worry always begins to take over me. Well I have seemed to get over with this feeling and of how exhausted to prepare for exams or to remain my studying for good grades.. This workload of college is significantly Increasingly more than the previous semester workload. Every year, it only gets harder and harder because I’ve chosen to take more challenges. It is harder because there are time managing and scheduling issues to coordinate, either to meet with the instructors or to find free time to study, sleep and eat!! and other obstacles couple with the new/higher goals I want to accomplish.
How I deal with stress has significantly improved every year as well. I don’t complain how stressed out I am as much as I did last year. I tend to get over it. If I still complain about it, it seems like I’m just not mature enough to handle school work? I feel like JC has really helped me to grow and be prepared academically. I have given up to go out with friends many times and to do fun things outside of school. Like, I don’t even try to make an effort to meet or talk to anyone socially either in campus or outside except studying with groups from my classes. I know this is only during this time of the year. I have to know what is the most important right. Of course for me, I would want that to be sacrificed. If you want the sleep break from school, then you shouldn’t even go out and think about beer pong. 
Maybe going through all these pressures right now will make me stronger each year in the future. Well, I think it is possible to beer pong if I have three or four classes throughout the semester. I know It is a never good idea to take many classes at once and expect to get all the As. But what only balances out a little bit is I have two easier classes out of five so I thought I can do it. Of course all of them require me putting in my times of being a full time student and efforts to get the grades I want. So there are many things I have to sacrifice, especially to even take days off from work. I’m glad the school kind of provides my financial needs so I can kind of depend on it at times when I don’t work.
Then I’ll see myself won’t have to take this many classes but rather more concentrated classes of three for my major, once I move on from the JC. Of course.
My college application was such a burden to me that I carried for three months throughout this semester. It was definitely out of breath working on how to be competitive while maintaining good grades at the same time. There are times I don’t even do well and struggle in my classes. It is not easy to balance… Plus I like to sleep. I’ve been getting many hours of sleep. Whenever I get home I just sleep, a couple times I don’t even wake up until the next morning…. I honestly don’t like the idea cramming at night, and I’ll never do it after I experienced it. This makes me study after every class but not procrastinate. I hate the feeling getting up early and being annoyed by the alarm and wanting to sleep in my bed so bad. And I love it when I wake up naturally that I’m waking up satisfied…. So when I’m sleepy, I rather just nap in my bed before I study or do something intense then sleep again.

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