I honestly have been wanting to update blogging but everything in my mind seemed so scattering to different corners. It was not clear that what I wanted to say, and maintain a single thought process. I’ve been feeling empty and at a loss for words whenever I tried to write a personal post.
I miss the old me when I would sit at home and just ABLE to go on here to type down my feelings in the way I WANT, easily. For some reason, when I’ve been trying to get on that grind but I hardly find words to describe how relieved i felt after midterms. How much I needed to de-stress myself by just being outdoor and do whatever the hell I wanted when i’m drunk.. Or at times It’s difficult to think of the right words to articulate my thoughts. Literally. Sometimes I can’t seem to find the best words in composition spot i open for myself; what have made me feel so frazzled. I’ve felt that I have become progressively less and less motivated in putting myself out there.
I just finished two exams that i had been studying pretty hard last week so i wanted to de-stress. As a result, I did what I wouldn’t do with a sober mind. Not that it was a big deal. I’m just being human. Being myself being me makes me happy. This week, I have one huge paper due on Thursday which is tomorrow. My peers are worrying about the next exam, and i’m here figuring out what has been going through my mind and how do I start this paper without feeling so negative. I don’t sweat the small stuff. I do not focus on the trivial, nor do I have the energy to. but some people these days…..
I feel that I have been surrounded by the people that can’t seem to even help either. Some of these people who don’t even try to pursue their interest besides going to classes, staying in their room, on the internet and trying to please others. I promise you that this won’t help you as a better person.
I promise to myself every little thing that we tend to worry about today will be trivial in the future. To me, it will go by fast, what didn’t go right today that bothers me so much, it really just won’t matter to me so much the next day. Simply just because my life goes on and there’s a lot more big things to pay full attention to. We need to learn to move forward and not stuck in the past.
Or, how else might I fix it if it’s already too late. People will judge no matter what, even just base on what you do at the moment. No one should forget that I am a human, and as human, we all deserve to live and enjoy that moment of life.
But whatever I do, I want to stay true and sophisticated. I’m giving myself time off to reflect or just simply unwind. Whatever I need to do to get myself together I get back to the person I seriously aspire to be.
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